Final Closing Sale, Really, Final
Yes, loyal customers, this time
we really mean it. We cannot
thank you enough for your valued
patronage, 35 years of forebearance
as, each spring, we announced
our final closing sale. I assure you, though,
it was no ruse. We pride ourselves
on straight talk, fair prices,
customer satisfaction. Really,
we were ready to shut down shop
ages ago but, you know…
circumstances, family affairs,
the economy, legal wrangling,
not to mention the weather.
This is our final going out of business
sale, the one you’ve been waiting for.
After this weekend, we’ll be history.
You’re in for some incredible bargains,
folks, I assure you. We can’t price
this merchandise any lower, but just might
be able to cut you a deal. Just don’t
let my wife hear me. Step right up
while the inventory lasts because
when it’s gone, it’s gone, and mark
my words, you’ll regret it if you miss
out. This is it, my friends. Come in.
Make me an offer. Good heavens,
is that the demolition crew
down the road? Don’t be the one left
picking through the rubble on Monday
morning listening to me saying,
“I told you so.” Well, I’ve given you
my word, and it’s real, and final,
and come hell or high water,
I’ll stand by it, really I will, really.
Philip Wexler lives in Bethesda, Maryland, where he also works for the National Library of Medicine. He has had some 150 poems published in magazines over the years and has convened spoken word and music reading series' in the Bethesda/Rockville area. He has completed a number of book-length poetry manuscripts and continues to seek a publisher for one or more of them. He also creates mosaics, as time permits.